Where, what, how were you when…

Where were you?  What were you doing?  How old were you?  (Maybe not so much for anyone older than 30, now or then.)  How did you feel?
Just some of the questions undoubtedly asked as this, the ten year anniversary of the terrorist attacks in NYC, DC and PA, is upon us today.
Ten years is a long time not to forget an outfit.  And yet, I don’t forget.  But what that outfit was on that day has no bearing on anything else I might share.
I was a sophomore in high school.  Sitting in the most torturous of classes, Algebra.  Just itching for it to be over.  I don’t remember the specifics of it all, but someone must have known from a class before because other students were starting to beg the teacher to please let us turn on the tv.  (What’s with cranky old ladies teaching math anyway?)  Eventually she relented.
What I saw…well I would have given anything to just “return to normal”, especially if normal meant none of what was happening that day, happened.  Yes even if it meant getting back to Algebra.  But since that was not an option I watched the tv as living history unfolded right in front of us on the screen.
Most of the rest of the school day is a blur.  I think for most of the day that remained, tv’s were on and lessons were put on hold.  All I know for sure is that instead of actually having gym class, we were in the cafeteria.  I guess as a safety precaution.  Not knowing if more things were going to happen.  So I wrote long note after long note to a few different friends.  And I’m pretty sure the tv’s were on still.
One of the most significant things about the effects of the 9/11 attacks I remember was being disappointed that the German exchange students were possibly not going to be able to come.  They were supposed to arrive on September 13, 2001.  Naturally the immediate thought was don’t come.  But they wanted to come, we wanted them to come, so they came six months later.
If you’ve ever at least set foot in the doors of a high school for a brief time, you know they are filled with lots of chatter.  All day from first bell to last.  Discussions of upcoming plans, football games, the ever present high school drama and occasionally talk of things discussed in class spill out into the hallways.  No matter the high school.  But on that day, at West High School, the conversations were stopped.  And I’m pretty sure that even in a school with over 2,000 students at that time, you could have heard a pin drop.  National tragedy can do that though.
I was a 15, almost 16 year old, sophomore that day.  And I was in Algebra wanting to be a dream.  A really bad dream.

Not Open for Changing My Mind

Forgive me but I have some close minded opinions to get off my chest.  Actually it’s just one.  In regard to a pretty “hot” topic.
Gay marriage should not be a consideration.  Anywhere.  Ever.  Marriage in its original intention was meant for man and woman.  Not for two men, nor two women.  “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” (Ephesians 5:31)  That’s just not what I was taught and have learned God intended marriage to be.  Yet we’re in this cycle of life where equality for everyone now includes the right for gay marriages to occur.
Equality for everyone is a joke.  How about instead of being worried about legalizing same-sex marriages we put that energy and those efforts toward fighting something else.  Something that for people all throughout this country is hard reality.  Things like poverty, slavery and abuse.  And don’t give me crap about not being able to marry a same sex partner being hard reality.  I’m pretty sure no one has ever died as a direct result.  Nor do I think anyone ever will.
Sure there is some semblance of irony in the paragraph above.  I knew it when I was typing it but sometimes you have to prey on the ironic to make a significant point.  To make people stop focusing on the petty and hone in on the important.
Let me be perfectly clear about something, I am not at all okay with legalizing same-sex marriage but that doesn’t mean I don’t associate with people who are gay.  I just don’t agree with their choices.  Does that mean I’m going to take my Bible and smack them in the head with it?  Not a chance.  That sort of action and attitude doesn’t get a person anywhere.
As I wrap this up I just wanted to say I’m disappnointed in the six states (NH, NY, MA, CT, IA and VT) and the nation’s capitol for feeling it necessary that same sex couples be allowed to marry.  Maybe some day we’ll go back to same-sex marriages being illegal nationwide.  Maybe.  Hey, a girl can dream, right?  Actually I can do more than dream.  I can pray and I’m going to ask those who feel so inclined, please join me.

I can’t take the glitz and glamor!

I knew this day would come.  What day?  The one when Hollywood take the “no strings attached” sex so-called thrill and turned it into a movie.  By all means, let’s please glamorize this ridiculous notion that no strings sex is an okay thing.  No wonder people don’t seem to want to be bothered with commitment.  Not if they can go out and have sex…no strings attached.
The whole idea about this movie irritates me almost to the point of intrigue.  There’s a part of me that wants to see it because I want to know the whole story.  Then there is the part of me that is just disgusted by the whole thing.  And in light of that feeling, I don’t want to spend any time or money in support of the movie.
Maybe I’m not getting the right impressions from the commercials I’ve seen so far.  Maybe there really is more to the story then they are letting on.  But from them it seems as if the story is saying forget commitment, forget your emotions and while you’re at it, run over your heart with a few 18-wheelers.  A little excessive?  Maybe.  But oh well.
I personally cannot fathom being perfectly content to having sex just to say that it happened.  I am far too emotional a human.  And furthermore, I am confident that such an act would ruin me.  Even if I didn’t think so, I still wouldn’t do it just to “do it”.  That just sounds stupid.
Oh I totally just remembered something that is more messed up about the movie.  The story isn’t wrapped around two strangers but two best friends.  It’s bad enough people go out and engage in sexual behaviors with strangers.  But to subject your best friend to that drama?  That baggage?  Disgraceful.  The fact that people allow themselves to be treated this way by strangers and their supposed to be “best friends”?  Unfathomably disappointing.
I’m not really sure why I’m so shocked that society could be so disappointing.  At such a high level.  It happens all the time.  I guess I was just hoping that people would safeguard their hearts and their bodies so much better.  Oh well, no such luck I guess.
Just to be clear, none of the things I have said are meant to be a dig toward anyone I know.  but if you felt one, I’m sorry.

Pray for him too!

Today in Arizona, a 22-year-old guy had his mind made up to cause chaos, tragedy and ultimately death.  Well young man, you succeeded I am sad to say.  Do not be concerned that I am going to call you a monster and tear you down for it.  However, don’t expect me to jump for joy or congratulate you either.
Some people might wish death on this young man for his actions today.  Maybe they feel justified in their thinking.  Empowered by spewing their hatred of his acts on him as a person.  Bad idea.  Did anyone ever stop to consider it’s attitudes like that that cause this kind of terrible shit to happen in the first place?
I learned as a kid that there is no such thing as monsters so calling this young man a “monster” would deem him out of existence.  And clearly, he exists.  And honestly from what I’ve heard or read of today’s occurrence his existence is one that needs praying for.
Obviously I’m not saying the victims and their families aren’t in need of prayer too because they certainly are.  But what I wanna know is why do people always say they’re praying for victims, victims’ families and never the person or people who caused the in the first place?  Don’t people understand that prayer is a powerful tool that not only seeks physical healing for the physically sick but mental, emotional and spiritual healing for those lost, hurt, broken, stuck, turned around and forgotten?  And yes even the so-called “monsters” need Jesus.
Maybe this guy doesn’t care about government, the sanctity of human life or anything at all.  But that does not diminish his need for prayer.  So please, just think about that before you spout off about what a “monster” he is.  I’m not saying it’ll make you his equal but certainly that attitude is of no use to helping those who need it.

Nobody told us why

Red Ribbon Week comes every year in October.  The further along you get in your schooling, the less “cool” it is to wear the ribbon.  So you find the cool spot to put it or you don’t bother at all.  I guess for some people promoting drug awareness is sort of counter productive or maybe even hypocritical.  For some people it might be embarassing though I’ll never figure out how.
Did you know it started to honor the sacrifice of federal agents who were killed before a drug raid?  I didn’t either.  Until a few minutes ago.  The teachers only read some blurb on a piece of paper in the brown bag that held our red ribbons we were supposed to wear.  I don’t remember it saying anything about someone dying before a drug raid in Mexico.  Maybe it did, but probably not.  Don’t wanna scare kindergartners with the truth I guess.
The older I got, the less I looked forward to this particular week.  It wasn’t exactly cool to wear the ribbon and although I never really cared about being cool, I wasn’t exactly a fan of the prospect of being considered a nerd or brown noser either.  So I would put the ribbon on my shoe or my backpack.  Not on my shirt.  It didn’t have a high place of honor, I only sort of understood the meaning behind it.  But I didn’t know then there was more too it than just drug awareness.  I’m all for that, don’t get me wrong but shouldn’t there be something about how it got started!  Don’t bore kids to death with some long history lesson cause they will only tune it out and hear certain parts but something should be said about the men whose lives are gone that sparked the start of Red Ribbon Week in 1985.
Give kids a reason for something like Red Ribbon Week they can wrap their brains around, even at 5, and it make them see it differently.  You don’t have to be gory or specific but say something about the lives lost…okay?
If I could go back and do it again, now that I understand more about it, I would say screw being cool or looking like a nerd.  I’d wear the ribbon right on my shirt.  And make sure everyone saw it and knew I was standing up for drug awareness.  Knew I was honoring lives lost.

Let us end hopelessness!

I hate paying attention to the news.  I really do.  I’ve gotten a little bit better about it recently though.  Not extensively or anything…but better.  This past week and a half or so though?  Eight suicides…eight!  And tonight…news of a hit list being found in a high school.  What the hell.  Eight reminders of why paying attention to the news is never anything good.  There’s nothing good about suicides and hit lists.
“So much tragedy this week.  Too many lives ending too soon.  There is power in your actions and words. Kindness can change and save lives.  And if you’re hurting, if you feel ashamed or alone, please don’t give up.  Please talk to someone.  Your life is more than priceless.  We’re reminded that many people are hurting.  Wherever you are and whatever you’re going through, please know that you’re not alone.  If you are struggling, please talk to someone.  There are good and kind people in this world.  There is love to know and beauty to find.  You matter beyond words.  Please don’t give up.” – TWLOHA on Twitter
On the way home with my mom while I was thinking I needed to get these thoughts out Delilah was on in the car.  Normally I would have reached over and changed the station immediately because the sound of her voice just irritates me.  But she was talking about something to do with the news and how you can’t stop the tragedy, the hurricanes of life but you can be aware of them.  Or something like it.  All I could think was “damn you woman…guess I should always pay attention to the news”.
“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed.  Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.” – Proverbs 31:8-9 (NLT)
What does that mean?  Speak up for those who can’t…the helpless…the poor?  Does that mean yak, yak, yak all day long?  No.  We need to do something.  Smash all this hopelessness.  Rip its guts right out and stomp on them.  How?  I don’t know.  But it starts with prayer.  So start there.  Pray.  Ask God how you can help get rid of hopelessness in the world.  Step up.  Step out.  Do something.  Don’t worry about being “cool”.   Jesus didn’t care…”On hearing this, Jesus said to them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”” – Mark 2:17 (NIV)…and neither should we.
Honestly though…it all comes down to one thing.  Love.  It changed the course of history before.  Let’s make it change it back.

You don’t look at me differently…

There are but a few things in life that truly irritate me.  I mean, obviously, I get irritated by small things on a daily basis.  But I’m talking about, deep down, pit of my stomach irritated.  When I hear stories of people with physical disabilities being scrutinized and forced to look “normal”…I want to spit.  No…check that.  I want to throw up my insides.  (Sorry about the visual that may have caused…)  When they are made to conform to certain standards…to like “normal” people…I kinda feel like kicking the crap out of people.  There’s no such as a “normal” person.  At all.  Hate to burst your bubble but it’s true.  If everyone was “normal” that would be pretty dull.  We’d probably all look exactly the same.  No thank you!  I enjoy the uniqueness in every person I see.  In all the people I know and love.  I wouldn’t want to be exactly like any of them or have any of them because exactly like me.  Boring!
Why?  All my life I have been physically disabled.  Only not really.  When you look at me…do you see anything “disabling”?  Not so much.  Because it’s on the inside.  It’s not so much a disability I guess as kind of an inconvenient necessity to my existing “normally”.  I’m not in a wheelchair…I don’t walk “funny”.  I have no true hindrance and yet…on a technicality I have a disability.  Sure my left eye “disappears” sometimes but that’s no big deal.  Just because I don’t look the “part” doesn’t mean it’s not true.
Many a time I was my mother’s example in Girl Scouts of how the other girls in the troop didn’t treat me differently because of my “handicap”…because I look like them for the most part.  And as such…we (including myself) shouldn’t treat those whose disabilities are visible different from the “normal” people.
However…this isn’t really meant to be about me.  More sparked by a news story I heard this morning.  A family with a physically disabled four-year-old son were getting ready to board a plane for a trip to Disney.  The little boy has leg braces.  They are partially made of metal and triggered the metal detector when he walked through.  So the scanner person (I forget the actual name for this position) told his mother he would have to take off his leg braces before going through again.  To which he was informed the little boy cannot walk on his own without them! So she offered to carry him through…not good enough for this jerk.  Don’t know how it ended.  But I heard that much and internally went ballistic! I mean really…is this guy serious?!
Hearing that reminded me of an interaction I watched in a McDonald’s while at work one afternoon.  Between a caretaker (I would assume) and someone with a disability.  I was appalled beyond words at the treatment dished out.  It seemed as if the caretaker was annoyed and wanted nothing to do with the gentleman.  I saw this and felt awful for him.  It was as if the other guy was just there because he had to be.  Didn’t seem to give half a care in the world about the other man.
Then you have my cousin.  You can see the fact that she is physically disabled.  But you know what?  It doesn’t matter.  Her heart is one of pure gold of that I am convinced.  Well most of the time.  Haha.  Since she is human.  But I hang out with her and spend time with her as if she was walking around like me…like a “regular” person.  Ha…funny story.  One of her disabilities and is the same one I have!  Okay I guess it’s not “funny”…just kind of proves a point.
Bear in mind I’m not asking you to look at me differently than you already do.  I’m not even asking you to notice the disability in me.  Just asking you this…treat those whose disabilities you can see the way you treat me…as if there is nothing wrong with them!  Love them like you do every other person you meet and love.  That’s it.  Nothing complex.  Nothing too difficult.
Just love.

Oh no…not a pro-life ad!

I can’t figure out what people seem to have a bigger problem with.  Focus on the Family having a pro-life ad in the mix for Super Bowl Sunday or the fact that Tim Tebow and his mom are in it.  Either way, I’m perfectly fine with the ad being out there for viewing.  Would I be saying the same thing if it were for something I am against?  No probably not.
As much as I wouldn’t speak out in favor of it, for obvious reasons, if some group or whatever wanted to buy a slot for a pro-choice ad to run Super Bowl Sunday, that would seem logical.  The question that would remain is…if there were space for it, would CBS do it?
I don’t ever remember any ad during any Super Bowl since I decided I could sit through a whole game without feeling like the world would before the game speaking to any social issue.  Ever.  I have heard many a suggestion that the only reason the pro-life ad is gonna be run is because of a down economy and lack of companies looking to buy ads.  Whatever the reason it got its spot, maybe the moral compass, even if only on one issue, is shifting more to the side of opposition.  More in favor of life than death.  Can’t really get much better than that.
For those of you opposed to the ad…those of you who are pro-choice.  Or maybe you’re pro-life and don’t want to jam that down everyone’s throat…this one’s title is just for you!