Why are fast food places slow?

Do you know the thing I find most distressing about “fast food” restaurants?  It’s not the greasiness of the foods that are served and then subsequently consumed.  Although that can be distressing if you think about it, over and over.
No…the thing I find most distressing is the fact that it is called “fast” and therefore should be ordered, made and handed to the paying customer in minutes.  Not 12 minutes in line, 6 minutes explaining your order that should only take 2 minutes (unless you’re a parent ordering for a flock of hungry kids) and then 7 or more minutes waiting for your food to be put together on a tray or in a bag.  That’s not fast.
You would think in New England where the only thing that happens slowly is the end of winter, fast food restaurants would live up to their name.  Apparently that’s too much to ask.
See what happens when I have lack of creative thoughts for my book.  I complain about something so minor as the length of time it should take to order and receive your food in fast food joints.   Help me!

Damn I hate writer’s block!

Writer’s block makes me want to throw a hissy fit.  Not a little one either.  More like one the size of, oh I don’t know, Russia?!  Yeah, sure sounds good.
What’s the big deal about this latest bout of writer’s block…my book is still no where near done!  And guess what…it’s coming up on 4 years since I decided to start the thing.  Good grief.
So maybe the hissy fit I need to throw should be the size of all of Europe and not just Russia?!  Yeah…maybe.  Or maybe bigger.  I don’t know.  Maybe while I wait for the block to break I can heap blog after whiny blog on you poor people.  Sound good to you?  Really?  Okay.  Great!
Considering how long it’s taking me to write this book, I often wonder how long it takes different well known and well read authors to complete their works.  How do they kick their writer’s block in the teeth?  Do they read books, blog, rant and rave?  Take walks and look for something inspirational to smack them in the face?  Meet with others and talk it out?  Talk to themselves?  Maybe talk to a cup of coffee.  Yes I know, I’m being silly now.
Me…well if this damn block doesn’t break soon, I will be reading a book.  Actually, either way, I’ll have a book on what to do to break the block in my head.  Thanks Mom!
If you have any suggestions for me…go for it.  I’m clearly in no position to turn any of them down.   Honestly if you’ve read any of what I have written so far in the book and have a suggestion for where I should go next…share that too!

Awesome suckiness…!

Here comes another one.  One that I wanted so much to never come or never have to see because I’d be gone first.  But you know how that sort of thing works.  Please don’t, please don’t….oh crap  it’s happening.  I never knew something could be so awesome and suck so much at the same time.  Until now.  Lately I sort of feel like tattooing “change is the most inevitable force in life” on my face.  That’s really the only response publicly I know how to throw out there.  At least verbally.  Written words…well geez…I have about a million I could throw at you.  Granted they’re not all gonna come at once.
Remember the story I told of bedtime cuddling in the rocking chair?  Yeah…that’s gonna be one of the sweetest memories I have of Andrew.  Forever.  Singing “Jesus Loves Me” and trying to get through “Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep”…and having trouble with the words for both at bedtime and all the giggling that caused for both of us…sweetest moments spent with Abbie.  Hands down. 
It’s awesome and it sucks…all in one breath.  That’s what I can tell you right now.  That’s how I feel.  But I’m not scared things are going to fall apart.  How can it fall apart?  Really it couldn’t possibly.  Not when God is clearly all over, in and through all of this!  Doesn’t make certain things about it suck less but because I know that’s all God, it’s a little bit easier (or will be) to stomach.  It’s not like they’re running off into the wild to join some cult and abandon Jesus’ call on their lives.   I will miss them all but thank God for Facebook and Twitter.  For real. 
“I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” – Jeremiah 29:11 (The MSG)  And it is because of that I am not scared.  Disappointed…a little bit.  Broken hearted…definitely.  Excited…on some level yes.  But not scared.   

“The past is just that…”

Thinking about the past.  It’s never all bad.  It’s never all good.  The reasons we go back.  Are the same.  Never all bad.  Never all good.  The things one might learn about their past and the people in it.  Yeah…you see what’s coming.  Never all bad.  Never all good.  However..the things we learn could either help or harm us for our present or even future.
If we go back to the past, get stuck there and gain nothing to help in any situations faced now…bad.  If we go back to the past and remember a lesson learned to avoid the same mistake again in life…good.
There is something kind of misleading about “those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it”.  I get the concept but really…if someone doesn’t know history how do they know that they’re repeating it?  How do they know what not to do?  Yeah…chew on that for a minute.  If you come up with an answer, feel free to share!
Going back to the past doesn’t just mean going back to events or places.  It can mean people and relationships too.  Again…not all bad and not all good.  People change.  Whether for better or worse…change is change.  Maybe they become more of who they’re meant to be or a shell of their former self.  Maybe you see those two ideas and view one positively and one negatively.  Well really, I think there can be positive and negative to both.
We all have our reasons for revisiting our past.  Or at least some parts of it anyway.  On the flip side we all have reasons we stay away from other parts of our past.  The important thing we should all remember is that the past, both the good stuff and the not so good stuff, played a part in getting us to this moment we’re in right now.  And some day…this moment will be another moment of our past to look back on and think the same thing.
“…leave it where it’s at…”

Society strikes out again!

February 7.  Only seven days left.  Til the national (maybe international, but I don’t know) “here’s a marketing gimmick to get you to spend needless amounts of money to tell people you love them” day.  Also known as Valentine’s Day.  My single least favorite holiday all year long.  I will probably, if not on the actually day, always have something to say about it.  Every year.  No matter my relationship status.  I honestly hope I don’t fall into the b.s. trap when it does change.  Otherwise, will someone please slap me upside my head with a heavy object of any sort?  Thank you!
Anyway…per the yearly complaint and aggravation…I find it reprehensibly disgusting that there is a day where people seem to feel obligated or some other nonsense by society to spend oodles of money for cards, candy, flowers (blech!!), stuffed animals and other items I won’t mention.  Just because it’s “Valentine’s Day”.  Really, what’s wrong with going out on a limb on a day in the middle of the summer?  When you’re fueled by love and love alone.  Not love and some sick guilt or something that you have to do something…because it’s “Valentine’s Day”.
It also disturbs me that while we are still wishing people a happy new year, the stores are already in full fledged Valentine’s Day made.  Umm…excuse me for a minute…we just entered a new year.  A new decade this time too.  Cool it with the Valentine junk already would you?
This whole thing might seem bitter and cynical.  Let me assure you, it’s not.  I really am a big mush ball, just not because of some designated day in the marketing world.  I like to be spontaneous with my mush.
Honestly there is a difference between making one entire day’s activities themed around love and spending money for gifts to perpetuate the ridiculous nature of a holiday that wasn’t even originated for the purpose in which it is celebrated now.  Oh geez, what a big fat surprise.  Obsession with stuff.  Consumerism.  Greed.  Materialism.  Screws up another one.  Bet you didn’t see that coming!
Oh I’m not done!  It’s also ridiculous to me that single people seem to feel the need to have a date on Valentine’s Day so they won’t be “left out”.  I guess they’re okay with it the other 364 days a year.  Oy vey.

Don’t say that to me!

Here’s what I will tell you.  I hate disappointing people.  With every square inch.  Every molecule.  That makes up my entire being.  More than I hate anything else.  Including snakes, clowns, lightning, etc.
You would be better served to just punch me in the stomach and walk away without a word.  Don’t tell me you’re disappointed.  And please…please…don’t add “in you” to that sentence.
Please.  I knew you would be.  Whether it was mentioned or not.  Like I said earlier, it’d be too easy to have every one of you say you understand.  But did you really have to say that?!
I get it…you’re upset.  You asked me not to do this.  But right now…I don’t feel like I have any other option.  There may be a time when that changes.  We’ll see.  For now I wish you hadn’t said that.  But you did so it can’t really be taken back.  And if I ask you to apologize, I’m not sure that’s right either.  You’re entitled to your feelings.  I guess I just wish they came out in the form of a different word.
I hate how words can just eat at me like this.  Cause at some point, none of you will even remember saying it.  But I’ll still hear it.

I could tell you…

There are way too many thoughts flying around in my head right now.  Honestly.
I could tell you about how excited I was to see one of my favorite people after forever.  I could tell you that I squirmed throughout much of Frank’s message this morning.  I could tell you about the time at Starbucks with another favorite.   I could tell you that I would give anything to be in Ocean City…right now.  I could tell you about being in the toddler room with 20 kids…and three multiple names (2 Andrew, 3 Alexis, 2 Joshua).   I could tell you that there were a number of people I saw and didn’t say good morning to.   I could tell you all of that.  I could also tell you about a song that popped into my head repeatedly during the service this morning.  Or maybe I could tell you that I didn’t mean to disappoint anyone but in a sense I have to.  For now.
That’s just too much stuff.  I can’t do it all justice in one blog.  And I’m not really in the mood to sit here and blog about each individual thought either.  But didn’t I tell you…too many thoughts all at the same time.  It’s like my brain is in overdrive.  Warp speed even.
I could explain all of that but darn sometimes “cryptic” blogs are just so much fun!  I could…but you’re right  I’m not going to.

Erase that part…!

Oy vey.  Ya that sounds about right.  I don’t even know why I’m saying anything.  Other than I can’t believe it.  Really.  I can’t.  It’s not like I would have expected any of this to happen.   But I’m not even sure I should care.  Should I?  Probably not.  And honestly…do I?  I don’t think so.  I’m just so stinkin’ flabbergasted.  Ya…flabbergasted.  That’s a good word.
But if I don’t care and it shouldn’t matter to me…why are these words here?  Why am I in a sense torturing myself with wonder?  They’re not in my life now.  Haven’t been for a while now.  Whether because of or in spite of me, that’s undetermined.  And I’m okay with that.    So not even a new year can keep my curious eyes closed to their existence huh?  Guess that means that somewhere I still care and I’m supposed to.  Or I’m not and I just can’t shut it off.  Not like I have with so many others.
There are other former best friends whose lives I don’t even wonder about.  Ever.  And yet here I am…flabbergasted.  To the point of annoyance.  Yes.  Flabbergasted to the point of annoyance.  Cause I know that even if it’s a waste of time and energy, there is a part of me that’s always gonna care about them and wonder what they’re doing.  But I’m sure it’ll never be enough to say anything to either of them.
I guess you can chalk this up to one of those times I hate that Facebook exists.  Hate that blogging websites exist.  For without any of them, I might not have a clue about any of this.  And even though I know because of pictures and words, in a matter of minutes, I won’t even think about it again.  Damn!

A woman’s prerogative

School has never really been a favorite of mine.  So much so that recently I had decided I was gonna stop.  No degree in hand…just stop.  Well I have to tell you…I have reversed that decision again.  I’m not stopping just because I hate school.  That’s not even justifiable.  It’s a cop out and I’m done with copping out.
That doesn’t mean I’ve succumbed to the notion that I need a degree to write.  Hello…obviously not!  I’ve been doing it forever.  And doing a darn good job at it too.  (Okay so that wasn’t very humble but I’m not gonna lie.)
I was thinking about it (the school thing).  After one sentence my mom uttered and I made a face at.  Why did I make a face?  Well…because she was right and I knew it.   However that being said…I’m not doing it for her.  I’m doing this for me.
I mean seriously.  How ridiculous is it to just stop because I hate school?  I live in a world where there is the opportunity to better myself.  Better my education.  And what have I done in response?  Spat on it.  Over and over again.  I’m done.  No more spitting.  No more stopping.  Only pushing on.  Even if it’s a slow painstaking process.
Okay I’ve said what I need and want to, so let me leave you with this verse that just popped into my head, “No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead” – Phil 3:13 (NLT)

Tragedy…the other common thread for the decade

Death is never an easy thing to swallow.  No matter how old the person is, in the public eye or not, it is still a stinging finality.  Whether you know it’s coming soon or think it’s far off.
Jasper Howard, Sean Taylor, Chris Henry and Nick Adenhart.  Four young men.  Athletes of excellent quality.  Yet there is one more thing that links them together forever.  Their tragic and untimely deaths.   Howard was stabbed.  Taylor shot in his home.  Henry fell out of a moving vehicle.  Adenhart in a car accident involving a drunk driver.
Is it just me or does someone else feel like this trend of young athletes being killed sucks too?  I mean, I’m not even fans of the teams any of them played for and yet, I’m still upset by their deaths.  But I guess, anyone with a heartbeat would be upset right?  Seems like a logical questioning statement.