No one is unlovable

I have an extremely hard time referring to anyone as being unlovable.  Even my least favorite people.  Or people who are guilty of disturbing acts.  Just because I am not someone’s biggest fan, for whatever reason, doesn’t make them unlovable.  We all have people we aren’t crazy about in our lives.  But they are lovable to someone, somewhere.   Most importantly they are loved by God, even if they don’t love God in return.
Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. – 1 John 4:11
Suggesting that a particular “kind” of person is unlovable, is despicable.  I mean, seriously, Jesus loved all kinds of “terrible” people.  People who were detested in their communities, by their families for their actions and sometimes even the type of job they held.  In spite of all that, when their families and communities didn’t love them, Jesus did.  We now should be striving to do our best to love all people regardless of their actions, jobs or what have you.
We love because he first loved us.  – 1 John 4:19
If we are going to follow the example given us in Jesus, we need to love everybody.  Whether they piss us off or not.  In those times when they hurt us.   When we just don’t feel like it…we need to heap exorbitant amounts of love on those people.   Because, like it or not, that’s what Jesus taught us to do.
If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?  And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?  Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. – Matthew 5:46-48
I’m not sitting here trying to convince anyone to love the bad habits, criminal acts or addictions people in our lives carry around with them.  I am however saying, that despite those things, as people they are not unlovable.  The name for this blog is “We All Need Love” for a reason.  That reason is truth.   And the truth is we all need love.
Hopefully you’re not fooled into thinking that I have this whole loving everybody concept mastered.  Let me be straight with you, I definitely don’t though I do try.  The problem with that is that Jesus didn’t say “try to love people” he said to just do it.
But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. – Matthew 5:44

Elephant kind of love

I wish I could have a pet elephant.  They are by far my favorite animal in the world.  Which isn’t really a secret but I guess not everyone knows about it either.
There are a couple boys who know of my love for elephants very well.  Along with my deep seeded fear of snakes.  Noah and Hayden.  Yes…I know…you’re not surprised, are you?  LOL.  You may be wondering how do my love for elephants connect to them…well I have a story that I will tell you in a minute.
When I think about my love for elephants and my lack of a collection of all things elephant, something in me is quite confused.  I mean…I love baseball and I have plenty of proof for that love…cards, t-shirts, hats, tickets, posters, etc.  But not much in the way of elephant “paraphernalia”.  I have a few things…a charm, a Beanie Baby, and the children’s book Uncle Elephant.  No figurines or anything of that nature.  I did forget to mention one thing…the elephant Silly Band.  It’s bright green elasticity has a fabulous story to go with it.  A story of the sweetest kind of love I can tell you about.  Ready?
So I mentioned how Noah and Hayden know of my love for this glorious large creature already.  And usually, I have a Noah story to tell.  Not today…this one is Hayden.
Silly Bandz…the latest “kid craze” and because of the elephant on my wrist I look like I have fallen victim to it.  Not really.  You see, when I first heard of Silly Bandz I wasn’t interested.  That is of course, until I heard there were elephants in a particular “pack”.  Did I want to spend $5 to keep one band?  Not a chance.  I knew I needed a plan.  Find someone that had an elephant and ask if they’d part with it.  When I learned that Hayden had an elephant Silly Band, I couldn’t ask him to give it up.  Turns out asking him to give it up wouldn’t be necessary.
One Sunday morning, not too long ago, I noticed a pile of Silly Bandz on top of a shelf in the Diggers room.  They were Hayden’s, which I kinda figured when I saw his usually covered arm was bare.
“Do you have an elephant?”  I asked him.
“Yup, you wanna see it?”
“Uh huh.”
So I waited and watched Hayden dig through his conglomeration of twisted up Silly Bandz.  He found the elephant and shook it out to its true form and showed it to me.  I held it for a couple minutes, just staring at this bright green elephant shaped elastic.  I was in awe of its beauty.  Go ahead…mock me   After a few minutes I asked Hayden if he wanted it back.  His reply: “Nope, you can keep it.”
“Aw thanks bud, you’re the best.  I love you.”
Told you…one of the sweetest forms of love to show up in my life.

“Stand beside the broken…”

Playing the “question game” to get to know him again.  As the 24-year-old man he is now and not just the 11-13 year old boy I once knew.  Should be fun right?  Some of his answers have been fun.  Other answers made no sense or left me with a sinking feeling in my stomach.  And honestly, broke pieces of my heart into tiny shards.
Within the first few days of us reconnecting I pegged him as whiny, over dramatic and insecure.  Now though…after one of his latest responses in the “question game”…my eyes were opened to what I should have seen in him before.   He’s not whiny…well okay, maybe a little…he’s broken.  Barely speaks highly of himself, if at all.  And when  I think about it, I break for him.  Tiny piece by tiny piece.  I can’t tell you that I don’t get it because I do.
It’s like I told him…on some level I am always going to love him.  Maybe not at the level of love he’s seeking, but it’s always going to be there.  I don’t know how to shut people who have ever meant something to me out of my brain.  Out of my heart.  Even if I never speak to that person again.  Or we endure years of silence.
I pray for his heart to be opened to God’s love.  Then I wonder…do I tell him?  Or just do it then wait and see what happens?  Well I guess it doesn’t matter if I tell him…it only matters that I continue to pray that prayer.

Ready for the explosion…?

This is nuts!  More so because I actually started this rant a week ago and I still haven’t gotten it off my chest…Okay so the thing that drives me the craziest about what I feel a need to rant about is I generally pride myself on not needing a guy to hold me up.  Rest assured however, that has not changed.  I’m still standing, breathing, living on my own without some dude as a crutch…
I don’t care about money.  Social status can jump off a bridge for all I care.  I don’t need nor do I want a sugar daddy.  None of that guarantees love.
Degree or no degree people love me.  And that’ll never change.  So that shouldn’t matter either!  As long as you’re intelligent enough to hold your own in a conversation who cares what degree you have or don’t have or if you even went to college in the first place?!
And excuse me for a minute but who the heck at 24 or maybe even 28 and older has their entire life figured out and all that jazz?  No, I have a better question about that.  Since when is having your life figured out a requirement for a serious relationship?
Wanting to find someone with a personality you enjoy being around makes perfect sense.  Don’t even get me started on physical appearance and the crap I’ve seen and heard in reference there though.  That’s all so ridiculous especially when you hear a guy say “size 6 or smaller” or whatever.  Jerks!  We’re not all built the same and if you’re that picky you don’t deserve to find a girl…..wow sorry….got just a little ticked off there.

Bull’s eye or jewel…

Treasure me or target me.  It’s not up to you.  It’s up to me.  So the question remains…how do guys see me?

Oh Chad Eastham and his infinite guy wisdom

What do you do to cultivate a grateful heart?

What do you do to cultivate a grateful heart?
Mind is blank.  Can’t think of a thing.  Wait for it.  You’ll be the last one in the room to speak.   Whether it’s planned that way or not.  You’re either last to speak or you don’t at all.  What are you afraid of?  Saying something stupid?  Not sounding smart enough?  It’s not about any of that!  Quit hiding behind your shadow.  Speak up once in a while.  Just because you can’t stand the sound of your voice doesn’t mean they won’t appreciate you contributing.  It won’t kill you.  Honestly.  Just try it.
What do you do to cultivate a grateful heart?
Still thinking about it.  It’s been a few minutes now.  You’re almost the only one to not speak up.  There must be something you can contribute to the conversation.  Your heart isn’t a black hole.  You’re not an ungrateful person.  Why can’t you think of anything to say?  You feel too deeply to try the “I’m an empty uncaring soul” line.  That couldn’t be further from the truth.  There have been times where you cared so deep it made you hurt physically.
What do you do to cultivate a grateful heart?
There you go.  You got an answer.  I knew it was there.  The whole time.  Just take a deep breath once in a while.  You think too hard sometimes trying to come up with answers.  This one was staring you in the face.  Literally.  Appreciating the people you surround yourself with.  Taking the time to stop and actually acknowledge them deeper than a passing greeting.  That is what you do.  Are there times you don’t do it or you’re so focused on where you’re going that you miss opportunities?  Completely.  But that is the downside of human nature sometimes.  Getting so busy you forget to stop.  Or being so focused on what you need to get done that the presence of someone needing to get something done in your space sets you off.  Take a deep breath.  Try to remember that what they’re doing is important just like what you’re doing.
What do you do to cultivate a grateful heart? 

I need you…you need me

Wow.  What a day.  I feel like going to service later in the morning, after spending time with the 2 year olds was the best thing ever.  Seriously, I was more awake and more attentive.  And maybe because I was sitting next to somebody I had just gone through the whole needing each other aspect of life with, Frank’s words spoke louder.  Rang truer than I ever remember them doing before.
Engaging in community.  What a concept to throw out there.  What a way to say “hey, you know every time you say we’re not mean to do this alone…you got it right!”  But at the same time the phrases “I need you” and “You need me” really hit today too.  I mean, they just drove home the significance of not having to face the tears alone because there’s somebody there to talk, pray for you, and just BE THERE.  If you’d only open and let them be there.  I dunno how many of you struggle with that whole thing, but I was definitely talking to myself right there.
Promising to talk to someone when something is wrong means nothing if you don’t actually talk to that person when something is wrong.  It just seems like an empty phrase to make them change the subject or just ease your conscience.   I mean why is it that we get so good at sharing the joys of our heart but at the very same time we’re just as good, if not better, at hiding the tears.  It made me wonder how and why I get so pumped to share when the next big reach for no cutting is but can’t say a single word when I’m in tears over who knows what.  It gets frustrating.  Not so much at the situation but at myself for being so stubborn and so full of pride.  It’s really not gonna kill me to own up to it when I’m upset and need somebody.  But I guess I got so good at not showing the sadness that I’ve gotta learn how.
Think about the next time you’re upset.  Ask yourself…”Is this gonna be another one of those times I face this alone or am I gonna open up and let someone in?”
Honestly I can’t tell you how much God and His perfect timing amazed me once again today.  To be sitting pretty much shoulder to shoulder with Kristy and then having Frank tell us to turn to the people next to us and say “I need you/you need me”.  Yup..it was a positive spin on the negative that instead of talking to her, I tried to handle the tears alone…And then to end the service with “We Need Each Other”…AHHH!
While I believe it is sooo important to have people within your same age range in our lives, it’s really just a number.  How am I saying that?  Well I’d be happy to tell you.  Some of the people who are my favorites are years younger than me.  And yet I can’t tell you how many times their wisdom has far exceeded their years and blown me away.  Or how many times their hearts’ desires have inspired me.
Yes, I really did just say that.  It’s entirely possible to be inspired by a group of teenagers from 14-18; even at almost 23.  And I know that doesn’t sound crazy when there are adults older than me telling about the inspirations they get from these teenagers as well.
It’s so good to know that when all the people who were my best friends for so long and were supposed to be my “best friends” have turned their backs on me; these teenagers have my back.  And it’s not just talk…it’s from the heart and it’s sincere.  I know they mean every word of it.
God is just indescribably brilliant the way He knows what we need to hear right when we need to hear it most.  And really, I couldn’t love Him more for it than I do at this very second.
With all that I’ve just got one question that I need to ask you…How great is our God?